You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
