last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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