Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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