mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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