You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
