I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it glows. i had to have it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
