At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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