I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize