This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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