Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
