Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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