i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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