ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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