I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
