I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
