At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
