Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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