So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it was like eating out sand paper
Life is so much better after having sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
