i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
