I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
