Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
