You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize