mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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