i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
