Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize