PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
