i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
