Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
