I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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