Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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