I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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