You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
