How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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