i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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