He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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