Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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