I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
