the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
