pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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