No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
