please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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