This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
