Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
