fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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