that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
