After last night, I could never be a politician.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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