i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize