i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
time to smoke my breakfast
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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