I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
