She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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