Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
