he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize