She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
