In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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