sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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