Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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