im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
