I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
