he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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