I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
do nipples grow back?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
