My hair reeks of homosexuality.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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