shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
