she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize